"I need to live for someone". Mother of fallen soldier has taken care of nine-year-old boy

— "Hello! My name is Olha," I greet him. I give the boy a chocolate bar.

— "And I'm Lesha. (Short form of name Oleksii) Thank you," he comes closer and freezes.

— "He wants to hug you," explains Tetiana Muzyrova, his mother.

I hug the boy, and he clings to me. Nine-year-old Lesha has just returned from school. For almost two years, he had a new life, new parents, and a new school.

— "I got my feet a little wet," the boy says to his mother.

— "But you have new shoes. "They shouldn't get wet," the woman worries." Take off your wet socks.

— "Mom, you saw how wet it was outside. I couldn't avoid the puddles," the boy smiles.

"I need to live for someone"

While talking with his mother, Lesha changed into his home clothes and went to the kitchen.

— "Sit down to eat," Tetiana tells him.

— "I'm already cooking porridge and cutlets," the boy shouts from the kitchen.

— "And don't forget to take the cucumbers in a jar," she reminds him and tells me, "He loves cutlets. In the first six months, I fried as many for Lesha as I had probably never done in my entire life."

— When did you start thinking about your younger son?

— "You won't believe it, but on the third day after Dmytro's death. At first, my husband told me: "This is wrong. What are you in a hurry for?" He would stop me, and I would answer: "I can't do this; I need to live for someone."

I told my mother and mother-in-law the same thing: "Be prepared. You will have another grandchild." They supported me. "We will help you as much as we can," Tetiana tells the whole story of the child's arrival in the family.

"Be prepared. You will have another grandson"

Colleagues also supported Tetiana at work. But she was still afraid of people's judgment, saying that she had just buried one child and was already thinking about another.

I prayed to my son and asked for forgiveness. We didn't betray him. On the contrary, we want to give a child without parents a chance to live in a family.

The search

In May 2022, I started googling and looking for orphanages where I could take a child. I called everywhere. Then, we turned to social services and wrote an application for adoption there. We said: "We are looking for a child from 5 to 12 years old." They warned us that girls are more likely to be "taken," but we didn't care about the child's gender.

At first, the social service discouraged us from adopting. They were afraid that we would harm either ourselves or this child.

When they talked to both of us, and we passed all the training and tests, they realized that we were ready to take the child and wouldn't back down. Then there was a medical commission and a lot of tests.

About six months later, we received a call from the guardianship service and were told that there was a six-year-old boy named Oleksii. He lived in a foster family. It was unexpected because some future parents wait several years for taking a child. I had an imagine in my head, like in a movie, that you come to a foster home, and a bunch of kids run to you, and you choose the child you like.

We bought the kid some fruit and a toy. We went for a walk with him but somehow didn't feel him as our own. The social service said that it happens.

"I felt that this was my child"

A few days later, we received another call and were told that they had found exactly the boy we were looking for. Oleksii was also a boy.

We met him on Christmas Day, January 7, 2023, at a children's hospital. He had just been removed from a troubled family and sent for examination, although he was quite healthy. But that's the procedure.

I bought sweets, fruit, a toy, and went to see the kid. At first, a psychologist talked to him. I sat next to him. Then we were left alone for a few minutes. I left the hospital with emotions, I somehow felt that this was my child. Even at work, my colleagues told me: "You came in completely different now. You are cheerful. We haven't seen you like this for a long time." Then twice a day, my husband and I went to visit the boy.

"We haven't seen you like this for a long time"

Six days later, on January 13, we took Lesha to our home. We arranged for him to live with our family. On February 6, the executive committee of the Chernihiv City Council granted me the status of official guardian.

The next day, as soon as we took the boy home, we went to the market to buy new clothes for him. Lesha's hat and jacket were dirty and too big for him, several sizes too big. The neighbors lent us their grandson's jacket so that we could go shopping in clean clothes.

Now he weighs 27 kilograms and is 129 centimeters tall, and two years ago he was only 22 kilograms and 122 centimeters, as we found out. I stand at the market and get lost. I had forgotten how to choose the right size for children. I was confused. I thought the sellers would call us grandma and grandpa. But no, they said mom and dad.

The kid did not know what candy or sweets were. The child didn't have any toys. Now he likes to assemble construction sets. But sweets haven't become as delicious for him as homemade cutlets.

His family

Oleksii's own mother died in 2022. She was only 31 years old, had addictions, and was ill. There is no information about his father in his birth certificate. His grandmother also lives in Chernihiv, and she was once deprived of parental rights to the children.

After his mother's death, the boy lived with his stepfather, who automatically became his guardian. He drank and beat his adopted son. A few months ago, the Muzyrovs learned that he had died. The family's apartment was somehow sold, and the boy was illegally discharged from there. The social service could not explain how this happened.

Oleksii's mother's brothers, uncles, weren't particularly interested in his fate. One of them called and saw his nephew only once in the almost two years that the boy spent with his new family. It was on the eve of his birthday, and the uncle came without a present.

School

While talking, Oleksii returns from the kitchen and sits down to his homework. He diligently and calligraphically writes each number. He is doing math. He's in fourth grade.

"My favorite subjects are math, computer science, and physical education," he says.

His mother proudly adds that Oleksii is engaged in modern dancing and has already won two medals. He was taught to play the guitar by a friend of Dmytro, their eldest son. The boy also loves to read:

"He reads faster than me," says Tetiana. "We are frequent visitors to the library. If we need to memorize a poem, he reads it once and can recite it. Sometimes it seems to me that everything goes in a circle. There are many coincidences with my older son. Lesha went to the same school and even to the same teacher who taught the older one. We have two schools near our house, but Lesha attends the same one as Dmytro. And he has the same class teacher as Dima (short form of name Dmytro) did."

During the year he lived with his stepfather, Oleksii didn't go to school. He didn't study at home remotely during the coronavirus either. But when he went back to school, he caught up: he picks up quickly and does well in his studies.

Once, while walking, the boy saw his stepfather from afar.

"He took my hand and whispered: “Mom, do you have all the documents for me?” Tetiana recalls the incident, "He said the car drove away, and his dad was there".

"Of course, I have everything. No one will take you away from me," she assured him.

"They won't recognize me anymore. What kind of jacket was I wearing then? A bad one. And now I have everything new. I'm different now," the boy calmed down.

The first days

The boy was immediately shown his room and bed in the new family. But at first, he withdrew into himself, afraid to move. Tetiana was also very worried and didn't know how to approach him, how to talk, where to start, what to talk about.

"A few days later, he was the first to turn to me: "Lie with me." He began to trust us,” she recalls.

"Then, we sat down to talk. I hugged Lesha, told him about our family, about Dima and how he died. And how we wanted to have another child. Lesha is proud now and says he has an older brother. He dreams of becoming a police officer."

At home, Tetiana made a corner of her son's memory: she put his belongings, awards, and photos on the table.

"I was hugging my son one day, and there was a portrait of Dima opposite me," says Tetiana. "I remember that I didn't have time to hug and caress him when he was that age. I was studying and working. I felt some kind of guilt in my heart that I hadn't loved him enough. But I realized that in heaven, my son was proud of our actions.

My husband and I were already expecting grandchildren, and our hearts were open to children. With the death of my son, everything closed. But the love remained, so it's good that we found the strength to give these feelings to another child.”

Memory

"I often go with the kid to Yatsevo to visit Dima (my son's grave - Ed.)," says Tetiana, ”to talk, clean up, and plant flowers. One day in 2023, Oleksii said:

"I want to see my mom, can we go?"

"Of course, let's go. But we don't know where to go."

"I know. She was buried in Yalivshchyna. There was a garbage dump near the grave."

I still doubted how a child could remember such things. But indeed, when we arrived at the cemetery, almost two years after the funeral, Lesha found his mother's grave. There was a small wooden cross and a plaque with her name and surname on it. He had been there once with his stepfather almost immediately after the funeral.

Now the child collects money for the monument to his mother

We asked the kid what kind of flowers and candy his mom liked. We bought some sweets "Romashka" and fresh roses and returned for the second time. Oleksii also asked the man to buy an iron cross and a headstone for his mother. Everything was installed, sprinkled, and the grave was landscaped. Now the child is saving money for his mother's monument. He decided to do it himself. He puts all his pocket money in a piggy bank. Sometimes his grandmother gives it to him, sometimes he earns it at school. As an orphan, he receives a scholarship from the city government for good grades. He gets 2100 hryvnias(app. 50 dollars) per semester."

Mom and dad

— When did he first call you mom?

I didn't force him to say that. I realized that I was looking at an adult, and I waited for him to come to this realization on his own. We told him to call us mom Tania and uncle Sasha, although they always called each other mom and dad when addressing each other.

In May of this year, for the first time, Lesha became very ill. The temperature was over 40 degrees and did not go down. We called an ambulance. It turned out that I had given him a little less syrup than necessary. They refused to give injections because they did not know what he was allergic to. The kid was scared then. He asked: “Am I going to die?”. He was afraid that we would leave him. I was running around with him all the time. My husband did not leave either. During the night, Lesha felt better. And in the morning, the fever was gone.

Leshka woke up and came to us: "Mom, Dad...". We looked at each other, smiled, but paid no attention. Although he always called us mom and dad when talking to his classmates.

— Do you plan to adopt Oleksiy?

— For now, we are keeping Lesha under our care. It is better for him, he has more benefits. He is an orphan. He has free meals at school, school camps, and transportation. Even tickets to the drama theater and zoo are free. There will be benefits when applying to an educational institution. When he grows up and wants to, he can apply for adoption himself.

At the age of 39, I really wanted a second child — very much. But life was very difficult at that time. We didn't have enough money, and everyone's salaries were delayed. That's why a second child was out of the question.

It's symbolic that Lesha is almost ten. If I had decided to have a second child at the age of 39, he would have been the same age.

Not every mother will understand me, but having lost my child, I am now happy because I saved another child's life. Lesha joined our family so easily that it felt like he had lived with us since birth.

The pain of losing your eldest son does not disappear, you just learn to live with it.

Dmytro

"Dmytro was a coach by heart," says Tetiana about her deceased son. "He was a rower since childhood, paddling a single canoe. He lived by the river, and was hardly ever seen at home. He had more than 50 medals. Later, he had students himself. He worked as a quarter-time coach. After graduating from a pedagogical university at the age of 22, he joined the military. He served in the 95th separate airborne assault brigade."

He adored children, but he couldn't live on his coaching salary, so he started looking for another job. In 2019, Dmytro passed a competition to join the Chernihiv police. At first, he worked for several months as an operative in the criminal police sector of the city of Pryluky. Since October 2019, he has been working as an inspector in the documentation group of the unique police company of the Chernihiv Region Police.

Dmytro had a girlfriend, and they were planning a wedding. On the morning of February 24, 2022, he called and told everyone to get together and stay together. So we stayed in the basement of our house for more than a month together with my husband, our mothers, my son's girlfriend, and her mother."

Dmytro was on duty at the automobile bridge, patrolling the streets of the city. On the 27th, he even spent the night with his family in the basement. That was the last time they saw each other. The next morning, at six o'clock, he went to defend the village of Kyinka near Chernihiv.

He died that same day around two o'clock. According to his comrades-in-arms, the Russians shelled their positions with rocket launcher Smerch. A cluster shell exploded in the air, sending out many metal balls. The defenders were standing in an open field with nowhere to hide. Dima died instantly.

The parents learned about their son's death on the same day from Facebook. Around 5 p.m., they saw a police post about the deaths of three of our soldiers. Dima was in the photo. Later, it was confirmed.

They managed to bury their son only on April 13. It was the first funeral at the Yatsevo cemetery after the Russians retreated. We walked along a narrow path. We were afraid to go off to the side: what if there were mines? The cemetery had not yet been fully surveyed after the fighting.

In honor of the four fallen policemen: Volodymyr Nastych, Dmytro Muzyrov, Dmytro Lukianenko, and Oleksii Khrystenko - a memorial plaque was unveiled in their honor. They were posthumously awarded the Order “For Courage” of the III degree.

russo-ukrainian war war eng army family